Xo Lo and Tl

[Xoloto]

Here are my roughly 5 week old Juvies who just reached 3cm ,they had full bellies at the time of the photos so i apologize for the wormies and brineshrimp in their little bellies lol I think I have 2 wild-types and a Luecisitic but the Lue could just be a lighter wild-type though s/he is growing slower than the other two .I hope to keep this thread updated with their progress ♥ I suffer from depression and these little guys/girls have been keeping my mind away from the abyss and it's such fun to see them chow down on food and watch them grow .I hope all of them will make it to adulthood.

 

[pondweed]

I have anxiety issues, and my mother suggested I get a pet to look after so I had something to be responsible for and have to look after and keep me out of my own head. I can't have my dog at University and I've always loved amphibians, so axies are an obvious answer.

These three look like little cuties, and I hope they provide you with some peace and something to take your mind off the scary things. I hope keeping us updated on their growth'll help too! I'd love to see.

 

[Xoloto]

I have anxiety issues, and my mother suggested I get a pet to look after so I had something to be responsible for and have to look after and keep me out of my own head. I can't have my dog at University and I've always loved amphibians, so axies are an obvious answer.

Oh I am sorry that you too suffer from anxiety I'm currently going to a psychiatrist to figure out why i've had anxiety and depression for nearly 10 years with it only getting worse.I do hope that you one day you overcome your shadows ♥ having something to live for really does help though and knowing that you have given something a good life and brought them happiness can be rewarding .

These three look like little cuties, and I hope they provide you with some peace and something to take your mind off the scary things. I hope keeping us updated on their growth'll help too! I'd love to see.

Thank you ♥ I think they are so cute and they are my first Axies so I do hope I learn more about them and can provide them a good life and maybe I should draw them more and add them here too .I shall try my best to keep you all updated

 

[pondweed]

I'm hoping to get some more treatment over the Summer holiday. I've had treatment before, but it's only ever patched things up, and I seem to cycle into something worse every couple of years. I hope attempting to tackle it again might have some longer-lasting benefits. I don't think it's the sort of thing you can ever be clear of, but at least learn to manage. I'm sorry you face struggles as well. Ten years is a long and tiring time, especially if it feels like it's only going downhill.

It's nice to make contact and remind yourself you're not the only one out there with these experiences (although people DO tend to know that, I mean, it's good, or nice, to be able to say, "Me too" openly.)

Did you do your avatar art? It's very cute! And yes, you really should draw them! (Maybe when they're lounging around with stuffed bellies!) I plan to draw mine as well. I've already done some salamander-inspired-gilled-dragons for various projects (I study Illustration) and when I get my little ones they'll be like underwater muses!

You've definitely come to the right place to learn about them. I love browsing these forums and picking up information!

Have a good night.

 

[Xoloto]

I see ,i've never been to treatment so I have no idea how it will play out or if it will work,I basically let myself suffer for those 10 years as I honestly had given up on life ,I've never made any offline friends , only online ones because I am selectively mute i've never really been able to speak much so typing was my only communication but sadly I lost my twin (friend) at the start of this year ,I depended way too much on her as my source of happiness my depression was too much of a burden for her ,it hurt her a lot and she could no longer stand to see me again so i've been alone once more but it's funny ...I used to fear being alone again ,I thought if i was left all alone once more that I would not be able to live but it's only now that i am alone that I see what a mess I am and that I really am hurting everyone around me so I decided to get help for myself so i can help others ,so I can no longer cause negativity or hurt to those around me aha but here I am venting again :'D sorry for going off into my own little world ...

Yup ,I did I was fascinated by the chimera axies and also because I own a white and wild type I thought why not draw half/half ,It's so nice though to see another artist (though I can hardly call myself one) I mainly draw dogs/made-up creatures and vent art and i do sculptures,mask-making (using resin ect),painting,sewing and many more but i've never really settled with any so my skills in all of them is rather weak .Illustration seems like such fun ,what do you do in that course? and are you enjoying it ? I'd love to see your artwork if you have anywhere you have it shown (; those saladragons sound so cute :'D I can just imagine them wriggling around like a salamander .

I really hope that you do tackle that anxiety head-on and defeat your shadows one-day soon .It is a shame that so many artists are like this but I guess in some twisted way ,it makes us see the world all the more uniquely than any other human ,us artists have our own version of the world is and I find that interesting ^^

 

[snuggly time]

Here are my roughly 5 week old Juvies who just reached 3cm ,they had full bellies at the time of the photos so i apologize for the wormies and brineshrimp in their little bellies lol I think I have 2 wild-types and a Luecisitic but the Lue could just be a lighter wild-type though s/he is growing slower than the other two .I hope to keep this thread updated with their progress ♥ I suffer from depression and these little guys/girls have been keeping my mind away from the abyss and it's such fun to see them chow down on food and watch them grow .I hope all of them will make it to adulthood.

Sorry to hear you're suffering. I feel much happier since I got my axie. I think there's a quality to them which is kind of comforting and also kind of feeling contentment just sitting and watching them.

 

[snuggly time]

Also, your babies are so small and cute!

 

[pondweed]

I'm sorry to hear how long it's gone on for you. I've always been fairly good at seeking help, and I'm fortunate in that. It's definitely hardwearing on friends and relations, but if you can think about it as you being ill, and will be attempting to move on from here... basically, try not to dwell on the past or beat yourself up about it. Easier said than done, I know, but even so.

I could do with following my own very good advice...

Are you trying medication? I know some people don't approve/like it, but I found it helped at least to take the edge off my anxiety and make me able to go to therapy without being a constant wreck each and every session!

Saladragons! That's perfect to describe them. =D They're based on Olms. Because Olms are thought to be baby dragons when they're washed out their caves, and Avalanches are thought to be the breath of ice dragons...!

My art blog is pondweed.tumblr.com. I really do enjoy the degree, even if my illness is making it difficult to focus on my art at the moment. You do a lot of creative things! You may think you're a jack of all trades and master of none, but I don't think that's so. When I did foundation, it was to our benefit to be willing to try and explore different ways of being inventive. There are skills in each that will feed into one another.

 

[Xoloto]

Re: Xo Lo and Tl
I'm sorry to hear how long it's gone on for you. I've always been fairly good at seeking help, and I'm fortunate in that. It's definitely hardwearing on friends and relations, but if you can think about it as you being ill, and will be attempting to move on from here... basically, try not to dwell on the past or beat yourself up about it. Easier said than done, I know, but even so.

I could do with following my own very good advice...

Are you trying medication? I know some people don't approve/like it, but I found it helped at least to take the edge off my anxiety and make me able to go to therapy without being a constant wreck each and every session!

Saladragons! That's perfect to describe them. =D They're based on Olms. Because Olms are thought to be baby dragons when they're washed out their caves, and Avalanches are thought to be the breath of ice dragons...!

My art blog is pondweed.tumblr.com. I really do enjoy the degree, even if my illness is making it difficult to focus on my art at the moment. You do a lot of creative things! You may think you're a jack of all trades and master of none, but I don't think that's so. When I did foundation, it was to our benefit to be willing to try and explore different ways of being inventive. There are skills in each that will feed into one another.

Yeah I'm trying my best to not let the past get to me but I've also made up a saying that goes "You have to face the past in order to see the future" which means don't try and forget the past but face it and understand it then you will be able to move on ..or something like that :'D it's better than my old saying I guess which was "My sin is my existence".

I'm not on medication as I have just went to the psychiatrist a few weeks ago for he first time ,I go again next week ,they will be deciding what I have and what medication to take at the moment the psychiatrist has told me i'm a mystery to him and have him puzzled which isn't really helping me feel any better lol.

omg Olms are adorable! I remember watching a documentary on them and I think that's when I decided to try again with either salamander or get Axolotl but so happened to come across someone selling 3 Juvies for £5 and bought them

ah illness is the reason why I left college about 5 years ago now D: I'm so glad that you are continuing to go and I hope all is well and your health starts to improve soon ,it's never fun being ill both mentally and physically

Your artwork is so inspiring ;; I love the pattern and the use of white (is it wax or some masking paint you use to get that lovely white outline look ? ) ooo it's so cool and very up my alley O: i love pattern and anything that reminds me of tribal artwork and vibrant uses of colour and I love the Saladragon (sorry i keep calling it that :'D ) it makes me want to make a tumblr just so i could see more ,it's so unique to what i'm used to seeing on deviantArt ( a site which i left recently )

 

[pondweed]

Yeah I'm trying my best to not let the past get to me but I've also made up a saying that goes "You have to face the past in order to see the future" which means don't try and forget the past but face it and understand it then you will be able to move on ..or something like that :'D it's better than my old saying I guess which was "My sin is my existence".

I'm not on medication as I have just went to the psychiatrist a few weeks ago for he first time ,I go again next week ,they will be deciding what I have and what medication to take at the moment the psychiatrist has told me i'm a mystery to him and have him puzzled which isn't really helping me feel any better lol.

omg Olms are adorable! I remember watching a documentary on them and I think that's when I decided to try again with either salamander or get Axolotl but so happened to come across someone selling 3 Juvies for £5 and bought them

ah illness is the reason why I left college about 5 years ago now D: I'm so glad that you are continuing to go and I hope all is well and your health starts to improve soon ,it's never fun being ill both mentally and physically

Your artwork is so inspiring ;; I love the pattern and the use of white (is it wax or some masking paint you use to get that lovely white outline look ? ) ooo it's so cool and very up my alley O: i love pattern and anything that reminds me of tribal artwork and vibrant uses of colour and I love the Saladragon (sorry i keep calling it that :'D ) it makes me want to make a tumblr just so i could see more ,it's so unique to what i'm used to seeing on deviantArt ( a site which i left recently )

Ah, since obsessing about the past and future is what tends to make me seize up with anxiety, I need to focus more on living in the now. Like a turkey. Or maybe like an axolotl! Although I understand the sentiment of looking to the past to better handle the future.

I've got the trouble that I've been through the system a few times and still been unable to apply what I've learned to manage my anxiety, which makes me feel guilty that I'm failing them somehow (which is really just another facet of the illness! Oh dear...)

Sad to hear that you struggle with physical illness too? My anxiety wears me down a lot, but apart from horrible hormones knocking me down once a month, I'm in fairly robust physical health.

I know David Attenborough (my heeeero!) had Olms on his Ark, and I would watch that programme all over again! Was there a documentary specifically on them? I'll have to have a look. They're fascinating critters. There's a "The Secret Life of Rock Pools" documentary on iPlayer at the moment presented by Richard Fortey (I also love Trilobites!) that you might like if you're into the natural world in general.

In the recent coral pictures, I've been using white gouache to make my white outlines and dots. But I do use masking fluid for other things and have used wax crayons (I get a thrill every time I use crayola wax crayons. It's like, "Yup, I'm at University and I'm using tools I used WHEN I WAS TWO! Legitimately!")

Saladragon really is perfect. And a lot of fun to say.

I'm on dA, but I don't tend to post artwork there. I use it more to follow people, because it's easier to navigate galleries when some artists also post a lot of other stuff on their tumblr blogs. But there is a thriving art community on Tumblr and it covers a broad range of things, so I was happy to find a niche there.

 

[Xoloto]

haha don't worry I'm the same :S The future terrifies me and my past wasn't so great at all but I know I have to fight off the past as I am pretty much stuck in it right now.Always bringing it up and clinging to it despite the fact it was the worse time of my life lol.It's odd how the human mind works.

Please don't feel bad about it ,sometimes we just have to figure out what is best for ourselves and other peoples ways of helping us won't always work for us ,I got kicked out of physiotherapy cause of my depression as I was unwilling to do the exercises but I found a way to deal with my illness on my own .

Ah ,hormonal problems are no fun , I pass out at that time of the month ,hate being a woman lol D: do you have PCOS? I have Tinnitus,Anemia,IBS,Hypermobility Syndrome (most my family has this) and I have a low white blood cell count which is not known why yet and possible Type 1 Diabetes (my dad has type 2 ).I'm constantly tired and sleep about 14 hours a day , I can barely eat and weigh 41kg and I'm just very very weak all the time ,It's scary that the body can destroy itself once the mind has given up

-flails around- David Attenborough is my favourite too! I love all of his works ,he is a real inspiration and I'm so jealous that he has seen the world in such a wonderful way ,I think i may of watched all of his programs since I was young.The documentary had more than Olms in it but it was called Secret life of Caves -"Life in the Dark" it was watched in 2003 and all i ever watch is documentary's haha i bore my family with them but I haven't watched tv in almost 2 years now .


It's so interesting how old childhood mediums can be used to create masterpieces it also looks very fun to mess about with and watch the watercolour dodge the wax :'D

weeee thank you for talking with me :'D I've been rather depressed and panicked lately thinking about the psychiatrist and what silly questions he may ask soon so it's nice to know another person who is also fighting their anxiety .

 

[Xoloto]

Not much to update , Little ones are growing so fast and eating well no loses so far .

 

[sillymoogle7]

These guys are adorable and reading your conversation is equally inspiring I'm a bipolar sufferer myself and identify so much with what you've all said. Treatment is the hardest step to take, my only advice is to treat it like a job. It's what you're doing with your life for a while! But it's a very positive step towards being well. I also wanted to ask if I could use your lovely photos on my twitter feed? I like to feature pictures of particularly cute lotls for everyone to see!

 

[pondweed]

I know this is a late reply, but ohmygosh you poor love. That's a sadly long list of ailments. Sympathies, and I really hope you don't have diabetes on top of everything else. =(

I don't think I have PCOS... I don't pass out often, but I have occasionally (from doubling-up with abdominal pain, and my blood pressure plummeting), in spectacularly dramatic fashion. My nose saved me from concussion when I cracked safety glass in a hostel door with my FACE! (Very bizarre experience.)

@moogle - Someone mentioned in another thread that therapists should advise patients to get axolotls. I'm beginning to think some of us have figured that out as a coping method for ourselves...!

The axies do look like they're growing well! I've fold a lady quite local to me who breeds them, and it won't be long until I can buy my tank and get it set up in preparation...!

 

[Xoloto]

sorry for the late reply , anyone can use these photos I don't really mind ,i'm currently on prozac but I think i might be manic depressive too as I have elevated moods where I impulse buy things and i'm really productive but then i can have really low lows where i'm suicidal and I hallucinate (audio and visual) but i've to try the prozac for 6 weeks though -bleh-


back legs are growing!

 

[Xoloto]

today I bought a 23L storage tub (about 2ft long) added the water till it was 4 inches deep ,put their hides in and put all three in it they seem to love the space but i'm going to keep a very close eye on them ,soon as I see any bullying they will be separated but they've been okay for a few days together in smaller tubs so fingers crossed they all get along .

I'm also wondering now that they are in a larger space and move around a lot more will they need fed extra ?

 

[pondweed]

( My understanding of bipolar disorder is minimal, but that it needs quite a different chemical approach to unipolar depression. =c Have you told your doctor about the hallucinations and mood cycles? )

They're getting so biiig! And the photos are really lovely.

 

[Xoloto]

( My understanding of bipolar disorder is minimal, but that it needs quite a different chemical approach to unipolar depression. =c Have you told your doctor about the hallucinations and mood cycles? )

They're getting so biiig! And the photos are really lovely.

Yup I did but he is really old school and thinks i'm just "shy" , I had to go to a psychiatrist at the hospital but the questions he asked was as if he was trying to see if I was Schizophrenic since I do get extremly paranoid like i'm being judged and watched by something but don't know what but i'm most sure i'm not Schizo lol ,only went once then the second time I went he just handed me prozac to try which has given me so much side-effects ,apparently the guy was leaving so wouldn't be there the next time I go (in June) ,I think it's just hard for them to determine whats wrong with me since i'm selective mute I can't speak very well at all so most the answers where given by my mum who lied a lot to them so she wouldn't get into trouble :S

haha yeah they really are getting big O: running out of food to feed them so need to see when I can start them on earthworm chunks ,daphnia and brineshrimp barely fills them up and the bloodworm all the time probably isn't good for them.

 

[sillymoogle7]

Thank you for the pictures! They're here if you'd like a look https://twitter.com/AxolotlEnquirer
It's just my opinion but give the prozac a little while to work. I found it didn't fundamentally make me better but it made it easier for me to invest in the things I enjoyed and concentrate on them. Hoping you're feeling well today

 

[pondweed]

You poor lady. =( I have met a girl with something termed schizo-affective disorder, and schizophrenia is such an umbrella syndrome for clusters of symptoms... basically, it's a really problematic diagnosis. Most mental health ones are really hard to pin-down to something specific. It's not like there's an obvious micro-orgamism or prognosis to point out.

( And Schizophrenia is seriously misrepresented anyway. It annoys me whenever people talk about "split personalities". )

I do remember being asked by my doctor when I first became really unwell whether I ever heard voices— and almost fell off my chair! But she had to be sure. (She also routinely checked if I had any worries about eating.)

Prozac disrupts my sleep, but that's about the worst of it for me. And the side-effects calmed down/lessened after the first month. And they take about that long to start working.

They'll be so pleased to get on to earthworms, I'm sure!